Puddle to sedate, Life in a movie, The real monster in sophie, the fight for my soul. (Mi's side of the story)

Once again i appologize about the strang lay out. My blopg hates me :-(




Puddle to sedate.


It took me a while to do what Sophie asked of me. It had been a long time since I had made my self sick at all let alone made my self sick with out the aide of being bent over and forcing my finger back my throat however it was also like riding a bike and it took a mater of minutes before the vomit was gushing up my throat and out of my mouth down over my top and Esmee’s restraining hands and clogging my wind pipe as well so I started chocking.

“Ok…Ok.” Esmee said letting go of my restraint and leaning my body forward So I could vomited more cloudy liquid and bile onto the floor in front of me where it splattered up my trouser legs. The tears also dripped off of my nose to splash onto the floor as well but the panic had stopped now and Sophie seemed more sedated now that the calories where out of me and on to the floor In a puddle of bile and calorie boasting drink.  


Life in a movie
Things became fuzzy very quickly after I threw up another time onto the floor. Esmee and Emmet where talking to me gently and I could feel Esmee’s gentle hands rubbing up and down on my back but they seemed to be less intense then usual. Less passionte.

My whole world seemed to collapsed into a slow motion dream sequence like you saw on crappy medical dramas when you saw a doctor pumping on an uncharacteristically beautiful girls chest and she had floated up to the ceiling out of her own body to watch it all happen. To see her own Strangly romantic picture of her death. Where was the vomit and the blood? the sweet and the tears? The sickning snaps as the doctor brok every on her her ribs?

I tried to blink my eyes out of staring onto the floor but they seemed to react in the same slow motion and the tears that dripped out of them eolled to the ground bellow me like gracefull danchers  before they landed and bang seemed to echo around the whole room liek thunder.

Then I looked up much to slowly then I would of liked and I saw her dancing around like a pixie or fairy over the other side of the room, jumping up and down betwwen the floor and the white surfaces.


The real monster in Sophie
I of course new realistically that I was hallucinating but on there other hand every tiny bit of this perfect slim ebony haired girl tried to make me think that she was really there. She was to solid to be something that my brain could make up but I also new Sophie belonged only to me and my head alone.

I had seen tiny bits of Sophie before but she was always hazy, always foggy round the edges like she new as well as I did that she didn’t really belong to this world but here she was real. Like she had broken through the barrier of reality it's self to clame me. Every detail precise, right up to the way her chest rose and fell as she breathed and the microscopic hairs on her arms.

Sophie was stunning to behold like this it seemed almost to impossible that my brain could make up such a beauty. Her hair was the darkest Ebony black that hanged straight and shiny mid way down to her back. Her conplection was tanned a sun kissed golden the made her skin almost look like it glowed and her face was just stunning. Her eyes a smouldering hazel. Her nose just the right size to hang over her plump perfect lips however even though she had all of this it was her body that was what stunned me the most. It was more perfect then I thought any body could be. She was so thin there where no lumps, no bumps no flaws at all. Just amazing perfection. The vishion of beauty not even a glossy mag could manage with hours of air brushing.

“I can make you like this Mia. I can give you all this. I can make you so stunning. I can make you pretty. I can make you perfect”  Sophie cooed as she twisted her body around to some music that was inaudible to me jumping from the counters to the ground showing every perfect inch of her perfection.

“but I am never good enough for you Sophie.” I sighed

“That’s because you are still so fucking fat you bitch!”  Sophie snapped back her face suddenly less pretty, now angry,  Furious


“You are fat Mia! you are Ugly and you are stupid who could ever want you who could ever love you?” 

 Sophie roared her face contorting and turning red in her rage and like that Sophie changed in front of my eyes her body twisting and bubbling and contorting into something different, something evil, something dark and terrifying and they only thing I could do was open my mouth and scream and scream and scream.


The fight for my soul
 “Mi, Mi! Look at me baby! Look at me! It’s me It’s Esmee. What’s the matter? where is it hurting? What can I do? Mi please talk to me!”

Esmee was the first face I saw interrupt the monster in front of my eyes and she was screaming almost as loud as me her face streaked wither her own panicked tears and more fell out of her eyes as she shouted.

Esmee like before had come to save me. Come to protect me come as the light to brake through the darkness that unfolded and twisted all around me. Come to protect everything I was and everything I could be. She was my angel

“Esmee!” I yelled suddenly able to find the power of speech again “Oh my god Esmee!” I shouted again launching my self forward and wrapping my arms around her as tight as they would and screwing my hands up into the fabric of her long sleeve blouse and into the skin underneath before burying my face into her chest like some small five year old.
“Esmee I’m scared!” I wailed my tears coming hard and fast vibrating through my whole body before making there escape through my mouth and eyes.

“It all right Honey. I got you, your Ok. I’m here and your safe. No one can hurt you. We wont let any one or anything hurt you.” Esmee soothed holding me tighter into her and rocking me side to side rethmicly in her arms like she was trying to sooth a baby, and in a way I suppose that was what I was right then. I was as terrified as any baby, absolutely petrified at what I had witnessed and I was hurting to. Like something had reached into my chest and dragged out my heart and there was nothing but the emptiness. A void like a black hole that could suck in the stars and they sky and my entire world and I new I had to keep holding on to the only thing that couldn’t be budged by the blackness and the hatred and that was Esmee.

Esmee was everything that the black hole wasn’t. Esmee was everythying that i always thought Sophie was to me. She was sweetness and warmth and light. She was kindness and she was hope and joy and comfort and I new at that moment she was fighting Sophie for my Liberty. She was fighting for my very soul.

Laptop is back and ready to go

As Promised there will be a stream of new updates now my laptop is feeling all shinny and new again.
I hope you all like i am not really sure about the above chapters? What do you think? to wiered?

laptop trouble.

I am sorry i now have laptop trouble. I knocked one of the keys off of the keybord and aparantly it is going to take them to the 20th december to repair the bloody thing. I am really not happy. I adore my laptop. Any way seemes my laptop is where i write andf save my story there is going to be a considarable drop in the updates to my storys. Saying that i hope to still do a few.

I do hope every one stays intrested over this time and i will start writng as soonn as i can.
Thank you.