Hope stems from fear. (Mi's side)

Hope stems from fear.

My first reaction was stupid but it was also easy and seemed the most natural thing to do. I closed my eyes tight and started counting up in two’s in my head. The hope behind this reaction was If I closed my eyes long enough it would go away. Some form of magic would remove it or my eyes would open from a nightmare.

“Mi it’s Ok. It was very long ago now.”

“ 12..14..16..18..20.” I muttered out loud trying to pretend that Esmee wasn’t still sitting there in front of me. That I wasn’t sat soaking wet and freezing cold on a hospitals bathroom floor. That she had never pulled up her sleeves. That the counting was the only real thing in this situation, that everything else could and would change.

“This isn’t a bad thing that I am showing you Mi. This is something you should celebrate, I do every day.”

“ You celebrate this.” I said shouted out through a shaking voice as I reached out and grabbed hold of her now exposed forearm and held on tight until my fingers turned white. Hoping that some how the contact would make it go away. There was nothing to celebrate in such devastation, even more so when it was Esmee that it was devastating.

“Yes.”

“Then your crazy! This doesn’t happen… shouldn’t happen… Just No.!” I stuttered shaking my head violently from side to side like I was a wet dog trying to shake him self off.

“Mi have clearly scared you a bit and I can see why but I want you to listen to me. I want you to know why the story behind these scars should be hopeful to you, not one to scare you. It is true that infinitive hope can stem from all are darkest fears.”