(Esmee) The fire eats tonight

The fire eats tonight

Esmee

 

“No!” I shouted taking two steps back from Emmet my whole body shivering and my breath catching just outside of my lungs. I had cut him, physically caused harm to his god-like body and it was my entire fault. The man that I loved and adored had become injured at my hand.

“Emmet I’m sorry, it was a mistake! An accident! I wouldn’t ever even… I mean to hurt you… it’s just… I just… Unforgivable... Inexcusable… just  no… to dream of hurting you… no…no!”  I trailed off from my ranting the vomit gushing up my mouth and rendering my speechless as I let go off his cut and clambered to the sink. The orange and green splashed up the side of the polished stainless steel and clung to the dish rack as well as his ruby blood from my hands.

“It’s fine Esmee, it’s all OK. You didn’t mean to I know you didn’t.” I felt Emmet’s smooth skin on my arm but out the side of my eye I could see that lines of dark blood streamed like odd veins on a plant down his arm and onto the floor… and they were… beautiful…  inviting… perfect… wrong/wrong/wrong… I needed it… I had to do it.

I became under its spell instantly. Everything about the blood drew me in towards it and nothing about it mattered any more. I may have cut Emmet but the emotions that I was meant to feel washed away as easily as his blood and suddenly all I felt was jealousy and lust. The release that was meant to be mine was engraved into his arm and it was perfect. A ruby rose scented red, laced with glitter and joy and absolute ecstasy belonged to him and not me and he didn’t even enjoy or understand that it was a reward. I didn’t just want it. I needed it, more than him, or family, or friends, or even air. I had to have it.

I shrieked without meaning to as I darted, span around Emmet, did the limbo under his bad arm allowed my knees to crash against the floor where I scooped up the razor that was in a puddle of my own husbands blood and pulled it vertically down the top of my fore arm. The skin parted as it went, the flesh retreating to the edges as blood engulfed the surface area in magnificent sticky heat. I turned my arm over and looked for another good spot and found the other side of my arm staring at me. I knew it was dangerous, I knew that the veins lingered just under the surface and that one cut into their blue gentleness could kill me before I even had time to react, however… I would die in ecstasy and for a moment I didn’t care…

“Esmee don’t!” Something bashed into my hands before I had time to make the cut and the blade along with specks of my  blood splashed about ten foot over the kitchen floor. My body reacted before my brain could and I clambered after it slipping out of Emmets grasps.

“What in hell is going…”

“Leo, Lenny, stop her! Pick up the bloody razor!” I had almost reached it as Lenny bent down and snatched the razor from my hands. I got to my feet in one fluid jump like a cat and squared up to Lenny. I would have fought him for it if I had to. The part of my brain that loved and respected Leo and Lenny was nothing compared to how my body craved the feelings that blood gave me. I would have moved mountains and broke rocks for something shiny and sharp.

“Give it to me now!”  The voice leaving my mouth didn’t belong to me; neither did my screwed up fists and the ability to take out Leo if I had to. I growled more pulling my self-higher and for a few seconds Lenny looked as scared of me as I was of myself. I decided I would try not to hurt him too mush. I would scratch and grab and not go for his crotch as I first intended.

“Now that is enough Esmee!” I had no time to protest or to scratch or to kick as before I knew it the man with the loudest voice had hocked his arm around my waste and with his shear force and weight dragged me over to the sink turned the cold water tap on full and shoved my blooded arm in there just before he forced me to lover my head over the sink so the icy water could prick at my face.

I gasped aloud. The elastic that had been tied so forcefully around my burning chest broke and my head began to swim back into focus so I could properly see what I had done and worse feel it. Water had trumped fire in the end but only after it had consumed me completely.