Part of the family (Mi's side)

Part of the family

Acting on instinct rather then my last ounce of common sense that hadn’t been drugged out of me by the powerful sedatives that they kept putting into my skin I leapt forward from the bed and wrapped my arms around Esmee almost pulling her on top of me in the process.

“You left me!” I sobbed, the screaming becoming wet as the tears crashed out of my eyes in a mixture of anger and relief. “You left me!”

“I know, I know I’m sorry, but I’m here now, I’m here.” Esmee soothed gently in a hushed tone as she lowered my body back down to the bed before lying hers down beside mine but I still refused to let go of my grip on her knowing that if this was the last time I got to hold her or got to see her I wanted to remember every little bit of how she felt, I wanted to remember the settling comfort it cast upon me because if I could just hold onto that forever with the help of powerful sedatives I could barley survive the rest of my life.

“I was always coming back Mi,” Esmee said gently leaning forward and kissing me on the top of the head allowing her beautiful velvet strawberry scented hair cascade around my face making another memory that I tried to cling to in my head, “I just needed time, I was struggling and you saw that Mi, I needed help and I was ashamed.”

“What did you think I was going to do Esmee judge you, shout at you? I could really do that and not be a hypercrit couldn’t I.” I said duly glancing down at my own bandaged wrists under which my own stitches lay in neat rolls pulling together the arteries and skin which I had cut apart allowing my own blood to flow.

“Mi I knew you wouldn’t judge me but I was judging my self for allowing you to see that, I am the nurse Mi we are trained to be indestructible and calm under pressure not mentally ill our self’s in short I am meant to protect you.”

“all that has changed though Esmee.” I moaned trying to wind my self closer to her while nestling my face in under her neck so I could keep breathing in her scent, “your not my nurse any more; your family.”