Claimed (Mi's side)

And I did…
I didn’t know how I did it but something in Esmee’s words made me challenge my self and the attitudes that I had at that moment about vomiting. Out of the whole list I gave Esmee for why I should continue to puke my guts up none of them where really true. I was not clean or white. I was messy and caked in blood and sick, nothing was better; nothing had stopped and Bella was still not breathing, yet Esmee’s reasoning was true. I could not deny that I was indeed crying so with my last ounce of energy I pulled my self away from the loo with Esmee’s help and collapsed onto the floor shivering and whimpering as my stomach kept involuntarily heaving towards my mouth and my heart thundered against my rib cage.

“All right, good girl, that’s a good girl.” Esmee said gently shifting her self down so she was lying out beside me, stroking my vomit stained hair back off of my face with one hand and checking my pause with the other.

“Can I give you some oxygen honey? You vitals are probably fine but it will make things a bit easier anyway however I wont force you.”

I shook my head while still gasping to try and get some clean and fresh air into my lugs that wasn’t thick with the bitter taste of left over stomach acid. It wasn’t really the fact that I didn’t Want the oxygen because at that moment I would have done anything to make me feel better but more the issue I couldn’t get my body off of the floor and there was a whole corridor and two flights of stair separating me from the clinic.

“I can’t move,” I moaned squeezing the words out of my lungs as my stomach heaved back towards my mouth but got caught somewhere in a bubble just under my rib cage. “I won’t make it to the clinic room.”

“Good god mi I can see that, I was more thinking of bringing the oxygen to you,” Esmee smiled gently reaching over again with a tissue so she could wipe the foul tasting droll off of my lips and the sticky bloody vomit off of my chin.

“It would be nice.” I smiled gently my tummy having again as I tried to get my breath to come in longer more satisfying gulps.

“Oxygen Mia? Oxygen? Who said you deserved oxygen?”

“Or maybe not,” I moaned closing my eyes against the pulsing pain behind them, my head spinning out as I tried to grip onto the bathroom floor with my clipped fingernails. I had no energy left to fight with the voice in my head, today she could win.

“You deserve it honey, you deserve it.” Esmee said firmly yet gently. “Trust me.”

And I did…