Still very triggering so please still take care
Language!
“Emmet. I am glad that you come!” I heard my mother shout as I heard the front door open again. The policy of no knocking applied to him too. My mother saw Emmet as the son she could never have, a cherished, love son.
I had started to become woozy now and my cutting slowed to a more controlled pace. Both upper legs had been covered in the angry cuts and the tiny drips that had dripped to the floor had long since turned to bigger more impressive puddles.
“Esmee, let me in!” Emmet roared from outside the door bashing his wrists so hard against the wood I thought he might of managed to put his arm right though. I sat still not daring to move. This felt familiar too looked in this bathroom when the predator lurked out side the door pacing, just waiting until I tried to make my escape and the fear was almost paralyzing.
“This Is Emmet, This is Emmet, This is Emmet, this is Emmet.” I stuttered under my breath over and over again trying to convince my brain that there was nothing to fear. He may of found me silly and irritating but he was still himself and there was no way that mad would hurt me.
“Esmee!” He yelled again almost rattling the door off of its hinges “Esmee are you OK? What have you done?” He yelled his voice panicked. I new I should of answered but I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to do all of this all over again I hated the pain it caused and it should never of come to this anyway. If I hadn’t become so absorbed by my cutting I could have done it all ready. If I had just headed straight for the femoral artery I would have probably been dead by now; Or at least past the point of any return.
“Esmee I swear to god I will brake this fucking door down.” Emmet shouted growling somewhere in the back of his throat.
“Emmet! Language!” my mother yelled stunned,
“Just fuck off the lot of you!” I yelled back pulling at my hair in frustration why wouldn’t they leave me alone?
“Esmee! Language!” My mother shouted again exasperated. Then with out warning the door creaked and the lock snapped as Emmet came bulldozing through the door shoulder first ploughing into the sink opposite him before undeterred by the fact he had just broke down my mothers door he turned his attention to me.
I neeeeed to know what happens, this is amazing.
ReplyDeletehope your well xxx
cant wait to read more. even though it took me a few days to read this (i was being good, and staying nice and safe.)
ReplyDeleteI cant help and laugh at Emmes mom being worried about language... though my mother would probally do that too.
^ This was based around my dad actualy. I was once in criteqal condition after and OD and out of everything the only thing he could think of doing was telling my off for using the f word! Ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteMy dad means well bless him but i am a bit of a disapointment to him. I think that's what huirts me the most. I wish i could be so much more for him. To forfill every one of his dreams for me because he both my parents tryed for 8 long years to have me and when they do everything is great and amazing and then i grow up and the find that i am "damaged" In some way.
My mum actually told me once that she would of had an abortion if she new waht i was going to be like (She was angry at the time. My mum is the best person in the world and i love her more then words could ever say.) and that really kills me all of the time. I want to be perfect for them more then anything else, but instead of leaving school and going to collage i left school and went to hospital. My dad never really forgave me i don't think. He says he loves me and i know that is true but i also know he want's somthing better too.#
Any way sory about that but it is good to get it off of my chest. Well done for staying safe ettie and i am sorry if i ever trigger you.
vikki