(Esmee) Running away (Mi's side)

Running away

I pulled a chair around so it was positioned with my back towards the monitor. I was not meant to be here for her vitals. In this situation I was not her nurse. Just a friend. A stand in mother finger for some one that was a baby in so many ways yet didn’t have one. In short I was someone to love her.

“Hello baby.” I whispered gently picking up her limp had into mine. There where to many tiny tubes in it to squeeze tightly like I wanted to but there was on tiny patch where I could stroke the skin gently with my finger, some not quite dried blood that had leaked from the canola soaked into my finger tip. It was warm and alive but not hers, because going through the lines into the back of her hand was a dark crimson liquid. A liquid that someone had given an hour to give between popping to Sainsbury’s and picking the kids up from school. The same liquid that was now helping to save a 16 year olds life.


“I love you OK little one. More then you will ever except that is for sure, but you need to know there is someone who loves you, so there is someone to survive for.” I whispered again gently as I discreetly soughed out the leaking drip when Jasper wasn’t looking.

“Ez.” Emmet said stiffly. He was still standing just inside the door way his whole body slumped to one side while he held on to the frame for dear life with trembling hands. His face was a deathly shade of white and his eyes shone with his tears while his bottom lip quivered in a way that would have been cute if it wasn’t for the fact he looked like he was either about to vomit or burst into tears.”

“Emmet, What’s the matter?” I asked gently placing Mi’s hand back down beside her again before going over to him and placing my hand on his shoulder. The movement made him flinch. Something he had never done before, not in all the time I had known him.
“We should leave.” I said firmly raising my self up onto tips toes to try and put my face in his line of eye to stop him staring at Mi’s hocked up body. I did not want to leave her side but Emmet was more important right then. Here was when I would look after him like he had done to me. When I would become the pillar to hold up the crumbing. I had not thought of Emmet’s reaction. I had assumed he would have been OK. I new he was Ok with the medical side of things needles, blood, vomit and any other bodily fluid didn’t bother him at all it was the other side that had almost thrown him to his knees. Someone he new so well, hardly clinging to her life. Someone who used to cry, to smile, to shout and then make jokes. Someone who used to make him roar with laughter before blinding him by tears lay barley human in front of him. Now more machine then flesh and blood.

“Come on Emmet.” I urged, tugging strongly on his arm and trying as best as I could to drag him out of the room.

When out of the confines of Mi’s room Emmet took off at an almost run up the corridor towards the exit of the ICU his speed catching me by surprise. I walked quickly after him not wanting to actually run. It seemed almost disrespectful to run in a ward of extremely sick people but once I got out into the main corridor of the hospital. I took off at a run after him as he turned towards the sign that read main exit.

It was outside that I finally got to him again and found him discreetly behind a slightly overgrown bush trying not to draw attention to him self while he puked into the flowers.