(esmee) Nothing Is fine (Mis side)

Nothing Is fine

“This is not self harm.” I said turning on my award winning smile as I searched my head for a suitable excuse of the marks on my arms. Of course all of them would be would be far fetched nothing left perfect circular burns like the ones on my fore arm but I would fight them any way, they could not take me back into hell with out a fight.

“I was cooking eggs and you know how they spit, well they caught me awkward, Emmet can vouch for me, he was there.” I had no idea what his reaction was going to be but I had to have trust in him somewhere, before all this he loved me, before I opened my mouth he would of lied for me and maybe he would just one more time.

“I saw her do it, she’s right.” Emmet said forcing a smile for the paramedic before looking away from me again; it seemed extended eye contact hurt him to mush.

“Well I still want to take you in OK make sure there is no underlying reason for why you had the faint, and you blood pressure is still quite a bit lower then I would like it to be If I was going to leave you here.” The paramedic said looking like Emmet and my self may have been planning world domination behind his back. He had not believed my excuse about the burns and why should he have? I would have to of had super powers to make any one believe this one.

“I will go to the hospital, I don’t want to but if you think it is best of course I will,” I smiled again trying to find the despair that was somewhere inside of me, inside I knew there was little hope of me coming through this one with anything that mattered still intact, I was going to lose my husband possibly my job and my foster sun in the space of a few hours; suddenly the world span again and I could feel the blackness try and tug me under as the nausea rose in my through making me swallow heard.

“Are you feeling Ok my love, you don’t look so well any more.” The paramedic asked the form of his face floating somewhere in front of my eyes. I tried to focus on him but I could hardly stop my eyes from rolling in the back of my head.

“Esmee Honey!” The paramedic shouted shaking my shoulders heard as I began to feel my body falling again, “Esmee I’m going to lie you down OK and prop your legs up see if we can make you feel a bit better.” The paramedic yelled as he helped me down to a lying position and the other paramedic held my legs up and immediately I started to feel a bit better. My blood pressure must have been shot.

“It’s all right Esmee, everything will be fine.” The paramedic said gently as he put the oxygen back over my face again but of course that was where he was wrong; nothing was fine.