(Together we are whole)

Mugh. I decided babbly in waht i do best do i am going to continue and i love writing about Emmet and Esmee i supose they are my ulatamit fantasy future.

Together we are whole.
I had no words to give after Emmet finished his rant. I couldn’t even look him in the eye. Instead I stared at the swirling glass of water in front of me and counted the little white tablets I had thrown across the table. My soul felt cold inside so could it had frozen the tears I had wanted to cry and locked them painfully in my chest.

In one big movement Emmet swooped upon the table and picked up the tablets and dropped them in the bin before returning and sitting next to me resting his elbows on the table.

“I should take you to A&E Esmee.” Emmet sighed deeply rubbing his hands over his face. I don’t know what to do honey. If you Suicidal you need to get help. I need to get you some help.”
 Emmet moaned rubbing the tears out of his eyes before turning to look at me with his red face.

“Emmet I love my baby. I love my foster child, I love you and I love my job.” I said softly before taking a sip of the water from the glass in front of me to try and clear my throat.
“But I loved her too.” I squeaked. The tears finely melting inside me so they could fall from my eyes my body instantly becoming lighter and the blocked feeling in my chest drained away.
“I shouldn’t. She is nothing to me, just another patient but my heart feels different for her Emmet. I got to involved and I just can’t turn it off. I see her more as a daughter and then I realise that’s wrong too and I can’t sort it out in my head.”

“and you think killing your self will help that Esmee?” Emmet asked gently holding onto my had  rubbing his thumb over the back.

“I’m not that bad Emmet. It was rage and fear that made me do that. I probably wouldn’t of taken them but the action of grabbing them felt good.”

“I don’t want you to become ill in front of me and for me to just ignore it Esmee. I don’t want to find you dead one day because I didn’t react to the signs. You have to be honest with me. Please. Are you in trouble?”

“I am sorry I lied to you Emmet. I was nothing before I found you and I know I mess up sometimes but whatever I do I do it because after all this time I can still hardly believe that you would love me as much as I love you. In my head it doesn’t make sense why out of every one you chose me. You can believe me though Emmet I promise I will never leave you or my daughter.” I said looking directly into my husbands stunning eyes. my voice cracked under my tears but I meant every word. How could I ever leave him?

“Good.” Emmet smiled though his eyes shone as well. “and I promise you are good enough Esmee. Your too good for me, but I thank god every day that I was aloud to have you anyway.”
Emmet said his voice heavy with sincerity before he leant forward grabbed me by the waste and pulled me from my chair onto his lap where we sat together, and when we where together me where truly whole.