I can't stand your love (Emmets side)

I can’t stand your love
With out really thinking what I was doing I bundled her up into my arms and carried her down the corridor to are bedroom before placing her onto the bed where I sat next to her and pulled her shaking body into my arms running my fingers through her hair and kissing every inch of her body I could easily get my lips to but still her body convulsed with the crying. It was not enough to ease her pain.

“Honey it’s Ok. It’ all right. It has been years and you have done so well and you fort that so hard. I could tell you did. No one could of tried harder then that and no one could of asked for more.”
“It’s never enough.” Esmee stuttered through chattering teeth caused by her deep painful tears “Stupid, Stupid, stupid peace of worthless shit.” She muttered to her self.

Every world drove though me like a knife biting into my flesh my organs and then worse the very core of me like someone was trying to cut my very soul away and for a second I thought I was going to sob to from the pain of hearing her insult her self with such passion.

“Stop, please don’t.” I begged my whole body feeling limp at the words. Did she have no idea how much she meant to me. How passionately and unconditionally I loved every cell of her. Did she really not know to me she was the most perfect of all gods creations. That I needed her more then I needed the air I breathed how if she ever left me I would leave to as I refused to live in a world where she didn’t. Did she have no idea that she and she alone was all that mattered.

“I. Cut. My. Self.” Esmee muttered her words firm and malicious. “How the hell could I possibly be to hard on my self Emmet?” She hissed scrambling away from me to the other side of the bed where she curled her body back up into a tight ball. “I don’t deserve your Comfort or your compassion where is your hatred and you anger? Where are all the emotions I deserve.”

With out her in my arms it felt they where burning me like someone had come and plunged tem into a lake of lava and her cool soft skin was the against them was the only thing that would put it out.

“Hate you?” I gulped the tears making my voice brake to a breathless squeak “I could never hate you baby.” I whispered crossing over to the side of the bed so I could embrace her against me again but she scooted away leaving a trail of red across the sheets.
“Don’t touch me.” She mumbled again “I…I can’t stand it…I can’t stand your love…. I don’t understand it.”

With that it was too much and I got to my feet in a daze stumbling back out of the door bashing my arm against the door handle before tripping up the corridor and into the bathroom where I grabbed hold of the side of the sink and retched my guts up into the basin.