Amelia's song (Mi's side)

I hope this is OK, Enjoy

Amelia’s song
Dr. Jordan left me in the ECA for 48 hours for observation. He had said he found my behaviour concerning. I had protested and I had screamed feebly hitting my wrists against the padding of the walls and trying to burst out through the door but of course there was nothing I could really do he had all the power over me now. He was effectively god in the walls of apple gate house. I spent hours crying after my screaming had passed but eventually that passed as well and there was nothing.


I sometimes hard the faint calls of other patients in the hall way and the groaning of the food trolley. No one came to see me through out the days unless it was to open up the little bathroom at the end of the ECA so I could use the loo or to syringe feed down the tube in my nose after I refused the liquidised meal that was presented to me in a plastic cup. Apparently there was a chance of me trying to choke my self if I was given solid food.


Esmee started her night shifts the second night I was in the ECA where she spent the entire night in the corner of the room writing in folders and trying to talk to me but I had nothing to say. I felt completely destroyed and the dispersion had taken me to a whole new level, it appeared that rock bottom was actually a myth, something people used as a form of hope, but there was no rock bottom. Despair and depression where actually bottomless pits.


“You need to sleep MI.” Esmee said getting up from her position in the corner and approaching me I had been pacing the room for what felt like hours counting the steps in my head. I had got to 10,013 when Esmee took hold of my hand stopping me causing me to spin round and stare at her like she had just electrocuted me with her touch. Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks at the sight of her gentle features but they didn’t really have any feeling with them I had not stopped crying inside any way.
“Your shattered baby girl and you need to sleep.” Esmee repeated gently raising up one hand and wiping the tears off of the side of my face.
“your body needs sleep to heal, with out it your not even giving it a chance. Let me get you some Zopliclone to take.”


I shook my head biting hard on the bottom of my lip before dragging my eyes away from her so I could keep pacing the room counting was the only thing I had left now.


“Come on, that’s enough Mi.” Esmee said forever persistent as she took hold of me by the shoulders and headed me towards the mattress that occupied the corner of the room and pushed me down onto it where I instantly started to rock back and forth.
“Lie down for me, come on.” Esmee said even more softly as she sat down on the mattress next to me and uncurled my limbs before pulling my body down to a lying position with my head rested in her lap. I tried to resist but my body had no strength left to fight. She could of done anything she wanted to me there and then and there would have been nothing I could do about it. I was once again someone else’s dolly.


Esmee smoothed her fingers over my tangled hair with one hand while she held on to my hand with the others tracing her finger tips over the scars that where on them while she sand very gently under her breath a beautiful lullaby that she had obviously made up for her daughter.

“Hush little Mia, don’t you cry For mummy is here tight by your side

For even when the world seems scary and big

And the ground begins to move form under your feet

I will be here to hold you tight and pull down the stars for your night light

So hush little Mia don’t you cry for mummy is here right by your side"