(Esmee) Letting go (mi's side)

Letting go

I knew I shouldn’t have been but I had to admit that I was slightly taken aback by how this little girl that looked as fragile as glass had such doubts about my moral values and let them be known in such a blunt way to my face after meeting me for a few seconds. Saying that I was not offended or embarrassed more amused and it took a lot of will power to stop my self from laughing however Ruby had turned a rather convincing shade of lobster red and had instantly dropped to her knees pulling a giggling Madeline in close to her.

“Madeline I have told you a thousand times that that is not a nice thing to say and those words are horrible, now I want you to say sorry to Esmee.” Ruby ordered pointing in my direction but it was clear that Madeline had not heard a word that her mother had just said and she starred right threw her mumbling expletives under her breath.

“Rubes it’s fine, I understand.” I said gently as I saw her shoulders sag like the energy had been sucked out of her before she pulled her self to her feet and looked at me two fat tears falling down over her cheeks.

“It’s not fine Esmee. How did you work out any of that to be fine?” Ruby croaked her shoulders sagging even more as Madeline pulled on the grip of her mother’s hand. “I didn’t bring her up like that and I don’t even know how she knows those words because I have never used them around her.” Ruby said exasperated her voice close to a sob, “I’m just so tired Esmee, she is like this almost twenty four hours a day.” Ruby whispered crying harder as Madeline pulled on her arm and she staggered slightly.

“Come on Honey.” I said gently to Ruby gently putting my hand on her fore arm, “Lets get you inside and we can talk there are people waiting to get Madeline all settled in” but Ruby froze solid at the front door her body stiffening involuntary as she tried to push her foot inside the front door before stepping back and sighing deeply her eyes scanning over the building taking in ever brick the screamed out at her with a sick familiarity.

“Is everything all right out here?” I heard Emmet ask from behind me before he slipped out the door to stand beside me making Ruby’s eyes almost pop out her head as she observed him, “Some one told me that Madeline arrived so I thought I could help with her admission.” Emmet smiled cheerily.

“I was hoping to have a chat with Ruby; maybe you could take Madeline in and get her some juice or something?”

“No, you take her Esmee, I rather you take her; he’s just a bit… Well I’m sure he is very good at his job but well I mean Madeline is just very small and well you know I just think she would be happier with…” Ruby babbled

“I agree he’s huge.” I nodded summing up what Ruby was trying to say in one sentence, “and he has tattoos and big mussels not to mention the fact that it looks like he eats children for breakfast and fights grizzly bears for lunch but I can guarantee you he has the personality of a teddy bear and the bite of a goldfish.”

“Goldfish have no teeth,”

“Exactly, and I know these things: I have been married to him for five years.” I smiled wrapping my arm around his waist to prove the point.

“I can guarantee you Madeline’s safety with any of our staff Mrs Jinks. We are all trained to high standards and we all have a CRB check.” Emmet smiled trying to sedate Ruby but as I expected his efforts to try and pacify her was almost met with searing and an even bigger distrust of him. As EX clients of Apple gate we had both heard all the tried and tested lines before and would both respond negatively to them, Emmet’s speech even had me rolling my eyes

“No offence Emmet but you can spill all that crap from your lips as much as you want but it will not wash over me. Just because you have passed a CRB check doesn’t make you a nice person and just because you have sat in a class room and had people drum information into you doesn’t mean you will respond well to my daughter or treat her as a human being. Now I understand that Madeline is not perfect, in fact I can tell you some of the things she says are just plain awful but I do love my child but she is the way she is because she is sick.” Ruby said defensively pulling Madeline in close to her side as she looked over her shoulder looking like she was debating weather she was going to make a bee line back to her car.

“Ruby we are not perfect but it has changed here and we honestly do try her best,” I said gently “and Emmet is honestly the very best staff nurse that the unit has, I can guarantee you that, and that isn’t to do with any qualifications that he may or may not have.” I said firmly but gently and with that for the first time in ten years Ruby sighed dropped her shoulders and let go of her very sick daughter’s hand.