(Esmee) What makes us crazy (Mi's side)

What makes us crazy

Though I felt more like crying then smiling I plastered one on my face before I tuned the corner back into Mi’s bedroom. Work unexpectedly seemed to be taking its tool on me and I was almost emotionally exhausted all ready and breakfast wasn’t even over yet. I had been board out of my brain sitting at home and watching TV and baby talking with my daughter but I was starting to see the advantages of it while being back at work. It was such an innocent thing and this place was the complete opposite end of the scale a place where any fairy tales where crushed instantly.

“So how is everything now?” I asked half expecting to see Mi puking into a dish and Emmet trying to comfort her but instead it was still Emmet arm protectively draped over Mi’s back as she slumped up close to his chest her own hand scrunched up in the fabric of his tee-shirt.

“I think she’s sleeping,” Emmet said gently looking over at me and smiling, “I keep telling my self to lie her down but I don’t want to wake her up, she is so peaceful, no twitching or mumbling, no pain just sleeping.” Emmet said softly smiling down at the bundle that was propped up against him.

“I am glad she’s resting and why lay her down if you don’t want to? If you’re happy and she’s happy there’s no harm being done is there?” I smiled gently, “She can take this rubbish when she gets up, I’m not rushing to give her a bunch of tablets that are clearly just making her worse.” I moaned placing the cup of pills on Mi chest of draws before going over and plonking my self down heavily on the floor opposite Emmet even though there was actually no reason to do so. Mi was not on any level of observation So really didn’t even need Emmet there let alone me as well where as in the dinning room I could have been useful but though I hated to admit it I just couldn’t face it. In fact for the first time in a long time when at work I just wanted to go home and be human Esmee for a while.

“You OK?” Emmet asked me gently as my smile faltered somewhat as I tried to push away the tears that tried to come over me. I had no idea why I was finding it so hard to stop my self from crying. I was usually made of much stronger stuff and the morning so far had been uneventful.

“Pass, ask another question.” I smiled gently cocking my head to one said so my hair fell off of my face as I looked up at Emmet.

“No need to; those tears in your eyes kind of give the game away. You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

I gestured over to Mi who’s eye lids fluttered somewhat as her lips creased into grimace. She was either having a bad dream or was in pain Somewhere, none of which I would be able to help her with. no matter how heard I probed inquiring about the content of her dreams only made her angry and she never admitted to pain unless she couldn’t stop her self from physically screaming out from it.

“Why what’s happened?”

“I don’t know, stupid pregnancy hormones making me go all gooey over my baby sister I suppose,” I smiled, rubbing the tears out of my eyes before they had the chance to fall. “I guess I was maybe expecting too much for when we come back, well at least someone that was no worse then when we left her.”

“She isn’t well but she has perked up before, She will get better Esmee, that’s what everyone wants.”

“No they don’t, everyone else has given up her Emmet, why else do you think she is on so many tablets, it isn’t to help her or treat depression its to numb her and knock her out so she doesn’t get in the way. All they need is a month when she is self harm free with no suicide attempts and no weight loss and they can show her the door. The fact that I had to dress her today because she was too physically whacked out to do it her self doesn’t matter to them.” I snapped angrily making Mi stir in her sleep.

“If you truly believe what you are saying you should file an official complaint. “

“That would be great, If I could prove it, but all of those tablets fit into her treatment plan is some form or another and even though Doctor Jordan as basically admitted to my face that he has given up he isn’t going to admit it. This is what this place is Emmet. This is what it always does!” I moaned feeling sorry for my self as two tears slipped down over my face.

“I mean if there is one thing on this planet to drive you insane it’s spending time in a mental hospital.”