(Esmee) Gut reactions (Mi's side)

Gut reactions

Esmee

“You see Esmee, that look, you remember it too.” So tell me how and why I should leave my ten year old here?” Ruby smiled as I tried to rearange my face into a more profeshonal smile at the end of it Madeline needed to be admitted wither this way or under a secton from the mental health services. She was growing up now in the eyes of the profeshonals and they would not let such extreme psychosis go untreated long in what they now called an adolescent. In short it would be better for everyone if I could persuade Ruby that apple gate house was actually the best place for her ten year old daughter even though I scarcely believed it my self.

“You should leave her here because I truly believe that this is where Madeline needs to be.”

“She needs help, she needs the oaks. It’s bright there and happy and there are little children like her and she could play there and get better but here there is nothing! Just pain and teenagers all of them years older then her and half of them that wound sooner hack there own arm off then talk to another teenager let alone talk to a child that is likely to tell them that the mother ship has infected there brains.”

“I get that I do, but honestly Ruby when was the last time that Madeline actually played with friends? When was the last time you looked at her and thought she isn’t sick? The Oaks has a bright outer shell with posh beds and a posh sensory room but it is so far away from a day nursery it is unreal and I think that is what you’re picturing it as. I spent some time there when I was training and not to sound cocky but I have the duel training and the experience that unit would kill for, meaning if I applied for a job they would probably jump on me but I know I could never work there because I still remember it being one of the most hellish things I did. Maybe ruby they are just throwing more money at the situations that suck the most.”

Defeated all over again ruby shrugged her shoulder and walked towards the main front door her boots dragging over the ground making a crunching sound against the lose paving underneath.

“Maybe your right maybe the oaks isn’t the right place for her,” Ruby said gently turning to me as two fresh tears marked her cheeks, “but at least there I could walk through the front door without feeling like I’m going to throw up.”