(Esmee) Running away (Mi's side0

Running away

If I hadn’t been confined under a bed with very little room the solution would have been easy, I would have known how to knock the glass out of her hand and dragged her to a lying restraint before she could do anything, however I was under a bed and she was very much in control which was almost ironic as anyone could she had none left. And I had no idea of how to help her regain it, I had a feeling the situation was way past maths equations.

“Mi, honey, you don’t want to do that, I know your fighting really heard and your whole body’s screaming at you to cut right now but you can get through it. Can you give me the glass Mi? Please give it to me and then it will all be over you can stop fighting.” I said trying to keep my voice calm even though even I could here it quivered on the edges of the strained words; nothing about the situation was really calm nothing about it would end well if Mi cut open her scars.

I had wanted Mi to try and talk to me but I could se was beyond words and her sobbing simply got louder as she still tried to press the numbers out through her lips even though against the sobbing they had become nothing then mumbles.

“I’m a bit stuck for words Mi I must say but I am hoping that somewhere inside your self you can find the straight to not do this again, I can’t lose you Mi I just found you, you’re my family and I am so proud to have you as part of me. I am counting down the days before you are well enough to come and live with me and Emmet and little Mia. I want you there more then anything in the world.” I said again gently hoping that something I said would spark the reaction I needed in her to but the glass down but it seemed my talking was only making her worse as she sobbed still louder her whole body rocking violently the glass trembling inches from her vains.



My own panic was beginning to overtake me now as I could see the ending play out in front of me and none of them where good, it was clear she was too far gone to be talked down and she was too far away to be stopped physically making the situation hopeless and me feel like there was a good chance of me throwing up.

With a trembling hand I leant over and pressed the red button on my RRA for the second time that day an action that made me feel like I was going to crumble in on myself but I had no choice. I couldn’t stand to sit and watch what was happening and I had to get away before I vomited all over her bedroom floor. I was no use to Mi when I was a shivering wreck and felling more like a patient then a staff member.

“Mi,” I said slowly trying to control the pitch of my voice as the words cracked with tears, “I love you OK and this your fault but I feel so week right now so I have called for some help because I can’t deal with this alone.

With in seconds I could here a cat’s chorus of RRA’S approaching up the corridor and I got to my feet ready to great them at the door and tell them what was happening before I could run away.