Misguided ghost (Mi's side)

Misguided ghost

The honest truth was I couldn’t tell him if I was hungry or not for I had stopped knowing what it felt like a long time ago. I still felt hunger, but in a different way from most, hunger to me felt like a wave of weakness pain and anxiety, a stab of betrayal from my own body as it longed for something that I new would only serve to make it truly repulsive but most of all hunger gave me a sick sort of happy feeling, if I was hungry and tired and week I was getting thinner and that was still important no matter what Esmee or anybody else said.

“I’m not hungry, sorry.” It seemed funny that I was being able to refuse food as easily as that, it had been a long time since I could use such an easy excuse to avoid eating and I couldn’t help but dart my eyes around to try and find the group of people that would come in and hold me down until I ate but they weren’t there it seemed a dice with death was all I needed to let me go with out food, (of course it wasn’t until later I noticed the rescue drip feed pumping into my veins)

“That’s all right maybe later.” Jasper chirped smiling, “Now I thing the best thing would be to get these sheets cleaned and you washed and changed before I give you these drugs because they can zonk you out pretty quickly and I don’t want you falling back to sleep in a sicky bed. So if you don’t mind I am going to make a start on these sheets, excuse me Mi.” Jasper said as he leant in forward over my bed and slid his arms in under my legs and back and picked me up clear off of the bed in one movement before sitting me in the recliner chair and leaning it back as far as it would go so I was almost as flat as I would have been on the bed.

Jasper worked quickly on the bed sheets and had the whole bed stripped and was whipping down the mattress with anti-septic wipes before my head stopped whirling along with my stomach from my unexpected lifting over to the chair.

I kept my eyes on Esmee as she got up to absentmindedly to help Jasper pull the stiff white sheet across the bed and started on the corners making neat corners and tucking them in under the corners of the mattress.

“We can tell you’re a nurse,” Jasper smiled as he finished his corners on his side of the bed and smoothed down the corners. “So how many years have you been mastering the hospital corners?” Jasper laughed looking over at Esmee.

“A long, long time, Esmee smiled, though saying that I am probably a little out of practise it’s been a while since I was on the wards.”

“Well if you ever feel like coming back I will put in a good word for you and those perfect corners.” Jasper winked as he put the finishing touches to the new blanket on the bed,

“You couldn’t pay me to do you job,” Esmee responded walking around to where I was sat on the chair and putting her hand on my shoulder, “Plus I’m not a nurse right now I am simply here for Mi. Are you all right my love?” She asked directing the last bit at me before yawning loudly though half open eyes; I only just realised how tired she actually looked.

“Here for Mi or not maybe it is time you went home and got some sleep, those recliners aren’t great fro getting shut eye in and Mi and myself will be OK together, not to mention the fact that after I give you all these she is going to be sleepy any way.”

“I will leave soon Esmee confirmed nodding rubbing her eyes again and yawning “I just want to make sore Mi Is OK and tucked up in bed and sleeping before I leave her.”

“Well OK sounds fair, does Mi maybe want you to help her get her washed before you head off it might be nicer for her then me doing it.” Jasper smiled again taking off his gloves and apron and chucking them into the bin then rubbing hand rub into them.

“Yeah I can do that.”

“Or I could was my self.” I interrupted slightly annoyed reminding them both that I was still in the room and not just a passer by in my own life.