(Esmee) because i know it all (Mi's side)

Esmee

Because I know it all

“Mia’s gone for a bath.” I said Entering into the office and sitting down in one of the swivelling chairs making my self go around with my feet before pulling open Arabella’s file and reading through the usual rubbish that was written in there. Arabella was a sad case in the fact that there wasn’t really a case, we new nothing about her. She was generally silent and she didn’t eat yet she didn’t refuse food either as long as it was given through a tube in her nose. all we new was outside of the ECA she wouldn’t co exist as soon as the light hit her she would run bash into walls find sharp edges anything to hurt her self. It was like she was begging to stay in the ECA. Like she was scared to look at anything other then the padding of the cell she existed in.

“Keep an eye on her Esmee. She isn’t all she seems that one?” Jean said also going through a file at another desk. While typing with one hand on a lap top and  in between all of this somehow found the time to sip at a cup of coffee.

“I know that. I have seen it in her eyes too.” I said “but what can I do Jean, she shows she is OK I have to trust her. She can’t smile and show me that she is having a fantastic time and I put her on red observations. I have to show her that I trust her because you know as well as I know she will run a mile if we don’t.

“You think so much of all the clients here Esmee I wonder how you do it and not explode. You know so much about each one too. Have you never felt like you where just burning out? I know this sounds a little harsh duckling but I sometimes think you maybe get to involved. Do you ever think you care too much?”

“No, I can‘t care to much Jean. No one ever cares enough for the kids that are in here. They have got to the point where some of them at just mere teenagers are trying to throw them self’s off of buildings or are having to cut until they almost bleed out just to stop the pain for a few seconds and then they come to this place and there world gets thrown upside down even more. So I care as much as I possibly can and maybe it makes me bad at the job or avoid the books to much but I know all of this that happens in front my eyes. I feel it all within me. I can feel the pain of having a syringe stuck up your ass because you are so angry and alone you need sedation. I know what It is like to hold your self for hours before you realise you are going to have to use the loo being watched by a member of staff or like a five year old child you will wet yourself. Hell I also know what it is like to wet your self because you leave it to long to ask and the ass hole of a staff member you ask wont move her ass quickly enough for you to get there on time and guess what, that mostly happens when your in light coloured jogging bottoms and in a room full of people. I know that it hurts to cry alone when you are sixteen and I also know that it is like to feels like you could be saved from falling apart if the person that is sitting and watching you do it would just wrap there arms around you and tell you that it is all going to be OK. I know it all Jean because a little monster I know did it all and felt it all in this unit before while some of the kids that are here now where still in nappies.”

For any one who has not figured it out for the time being i have slipped over to Esmee's POV in the story. Sorry for the troubel but i think this will work the best but Mi will be back soon. Any way i hope this is OK.